Today is Father’s Day, but I would like to call it “Fathering Day”. Do you know why? Just because you have children, it does not make you a father. Get your children to tell you how you did in the parenting field. It might not have gone how you thought it did. Your children have a completely different view on things.
The biggest thing in parenting is discipline. Don’t be too strict, but do not be too lax, either. There is a balance between the two. Discipline realistically. You should let your children make decisions for themselves, but teach them what they should do, first, and warn them about what is out there and what could happen should they get themselves stuck in it.

Throughout all of Paul’s letters, he tells the churches to be like Christ, however, in verses sixteen and seventeen, he tells the Corinthian church that he is their spiritual father, and that they should imitate him. He brings correction into the here and now, telling them to do as he does, not as Christ did in the past. The Bible doesn’t do the hard stuff for us; we do it. We show our children how to live by what we do. If your children see you treating your wife or husband badly, that is how they will treat their spouse. Take responsibility for your life and the actions you take.

There is a difference between instructing and fathering. Fathering requires heart. Do not only tell your children what to do, and how to live their lives. Love them. Affection is modeled. If you do not show the love you have for your children, then they will have a hard time farther down the line, when they try to show affection of their own. Speak well into your children’s lives. They want it. Be honest and real; make sure that they know that correction comes out of love.

Father’s Day is either the best day, or the worst day. Many people have horrible memories of their fathers. Many fathers out there are either missing or abusive. However, the greatest redemptive moment is when you use your mess to help someone else who is going through it. There is a point in time, and it becomes easier to forgive and forget the hurt and pain that was caused to you.

Never forget that your children are watching you, and that what you do in life will become apparent in their own lives. Be real with them. Show them that they are loved, and make sure that they never forget it.

In this story, Jesus is found in His House preaching the Word. The crowds are drawn to Him. Some receive what He is saying; some don’t. Why is that? It is not the issue of God wanting to get something to you; it is a heart issue. Are you submitted to God? Or is your heart hardened against the seed?

Attitude is crucial in living a life for God. Submitting to God’s word is very easy. It is the simple answer to life’s complicated problems. See, in ministry, people often think the pastor has all the answers. They want his council, but the answer is easy: come into the House of God; submit to the Word.

In this story, four young men are carrying a burden. They are drawn to Jesus’ House by His Words (the same Word we have today). They want to receive what He is offering. But they are faced with a challenge. Life throws challenges at you every time you decide to step out. For instance, you decide to come to church, but then, suddenly, you have to work or someone dies and you need to go to the funeral service or you sleep in. So many things try to get between you and your answer. For these men, it was a large crowd. Yet, they are not deterred. They climb onto the roof and dig through. They push through until they reach Jesus.

What obstacles are in your way? Push through! Submit to God’s Word, and your burdens will fall away.

This is the passage in which Peter gets a revelation of who Jesus is. What I really want to focus on is this: in the moment in which Peter gets a revelation of who Jesus is, Jesus turns around and gives Peter a revelation of who Peter is. When you get a revelation of who Christ is, you find out who you are. You will never know who you are until you know who Jesus is – when you understand that he is the Messiah, that Jesus is God, that Jesus is the master of your life. When you come into that understanding, you find out who you are and you can start moving towards the future God has for you. If you don’t find out who you are, you can never fulfill the plans and purposes God has for you. We all have fruitfulness and destiny inside of us. Jesus is the key – the keys to the Kingdom that unlocks everything inside of us so that the Kingdom begins to flow out of us.

When God unlocks you, that is an incredible day. A lot of Christians are still locked up by ritual and religion and have never discovered God’s freedom. I know a lot of people that are emotionally locked up and guarded. They aren’t free in who they are. Keys are designed to one thing – lock and unlock. That’s all they do. So if Peter’s revelation of Jesus and subsequent revelation of himself cause Jesus to say now I am going to give you keys, it makes me wonder what the keys are for. Then Jesus starts talking about binding and loosing, but I think it is much deeper than that. It goes to this whole concept of knowing who you are.

Let me put it another way: Knowing who you are could also be called being self-aware. It’s almost like sometimes you understand yourself so well that you have these “out of body” moments where you step back and observe your life. You can look and see how you act, react and function in life, and look at yourself honestly, you can get a good perspective on where you are and where you are going. You will know your strengths and weaknesses. You will understand your giftings and the traits inherent in your personality, temperament and makeup. You want these moments. Until you can step back and observe, you are traveling through life blindly. We start to get really real with who we are as people, which is the true context of this passage.

Self awareness means having a deep understanding of your own emotions, strengths, limitations, values and motives. With regards to your emotion, it’s good to know how you function in relationships and what makes you feel pressured emotionally. Until you understand your strengths and limitations emotionally, you are going to have difficulty in all of your relationships, including your relationship with God. God is emotional. He gave you your emotions. God has a heart for people. If we are constantly trying to lock down our emotions, we are going to struggle in every relationship. Emotional intelligence is highly powerful for connecting with other people.

People with a strong self awareness are realistic and honest with themselves to the point that they can laugh at themselves. They are “self absorbed” or proud. Emotional self awareness means that you can read your own emotions and recognize their impact. Being self aware means that you can be tuned in to your inner signals. You are a three part being: physical, spiritual and our soul, where our emotions live. The spiritual dimension of me longs to do what’s good. The physical and soul elements of me house the sin. With training and strengthening of my spirit, I gain the strength and ability to control my body and soul and do what is right. The spirit is constantly warring with our mind and body. We have to feed it and give it strength, just as we do with our mind and body. The term “you are what you eat” also applies to the spiritual, if you are feeding on untruths or old revelation. This also applies to the soul. What you read and enjoy affect who you are and how you act. Be careful what you absorb or take in. Fill your emotional world with things that are going to gear you towards a kingdom mindset.

Emotional self awareness means that I am tuned in to my principles and my guiding values. That is what integrity is – living within the principles I have laid out for myself. Principled restraint is a kingdom principle – it helps you get strong and move forward. Emotional self awareness means that you can see the big picture in complex situations. You are candid and can speak openly. Self honesty is critical in leadership. You have to be able to be honest about your shortcomings. If you can’t, you develop a dysfunctional view about what reality is. If you can’t get real with yourself and identify what is wrong, you can grow, change or move forward. Don’t cop out and say “That’s just who I am – you have to accept it!” You are who you are from past experiences and learned behaviors, but when you connect to Christ, you have to let the old things pass away and establish new things in your life. It begins by getting real with your self. The only person that can get real with you is YOU. It’s hard to watch someone’s life unravel, because you can’t change them and they don’t want to listen.

I had to get really honest with myself early in my marriage. My family was well to do and I was an only child, so I got everything I wanted and was very self centered. When I got saved, I had to change all of that. When I became a father and a husband, I had to change my self centered nature. The first several years of our marriage was a nightmare, but what helped us was learning to get real with ourselves and each other. The more we got real, the better we did. The trigger for getting God to work on me was getting real with myself and my emotions. The more I got honest and recognized my shortcomings, the more God’s word went to work in my life. Moral excellence brings me closer to God. We often think the opposite way – if I get to know God better, my life will change. But God says “No, here are the principles. Live according to those and you will get closer to me.” I draw near to God and he draws near to me – not the other way around. I get honest about my world and the word of God becomes real to me. It becomes powerful and starts changing my world.

One of the highest forms of leadership that you will ever walk in is when you can empathize and make adjustments to connect with others rather than making them connect with you on your level. As leaders, we want to teach people how to get moving on the journey, but we have to connect with and communicate with them where they are. Prayer for me lately has been all listening – less talking (“God I need, God I want”) and more listening (“God here I am – show me, teach me”). The more I have done that, the more God has shown me things about myself and shown me things that are holding me back and stopping me from reaching goals and dreams.

With self awareness you have to have accurate self assessment, biblical self confidence, emotional self control. You have to have transparency. You have to be open, adaptable and flexible. You have to be optimistic and take initiative. When I am emotionally self aware, I position myself for God to use me and do something powerful through me.

“You are the Christ” – that was an amazingly powerful statement, made in the center of a symbol of Roman power and oppression. Ceasaria represented Rome’s worship of Caesar. Amidst all of this, Peter says “No you are the Messiah – you are the object of worship.” And then Jesus says “This is who you are,” and once we get that revelation of who we are in Christ, our lives begin changing so quickly. Things move and change so quickly! When you get honest and decide to make changes – when you stop being a victim and decide to start working on you – you position yourself for God to something mighty in you and through you.

Everyone has the potential to lead. Before you can lead anyone, however, you have to be able to lead yourself. Leadership at its core level is about me leading my own life. You need to start by taking a hard look at yourself. Stop blaming other people for why you are not where you want to be. People are going to let you down. If you look to them, you won’t go anywhere. Take responsibility for your world and move forward from there. Self Lead.

The Bible is full of principles that you can apply to your life. Peter, in the verses above, is saying that you need to take these timeless principles and apply them to your life in order to gain moral excellence, growing closer to God, endurance, godliness, and love. The more you grow like this, the more productive you will become.

Self-leadership is challenging. It is pushing your flesh beyond its limits until it breaks down completely. God comes in after the breaking and rebuilds you; He makes you stronger and more capable to lead. Leadership is like working out. God wants to make you productive in His kingdom. He wants to get you to a place where you can produce fruit in powerful ways. Leaders are not reliant on external motivation to drive them. Leaders self-motivate.

To lead yourself, you need to get really serious about your world. You need to get serious and honest and real with yourself. You have to determine how things are. Positioning yourself to move forward requires you to be 100% honest. What do you have? What do you not have? What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? Where are you disappointed in life? These are questions you need to answer, and once you are completely honest in these areas, you can start to move forward.

Leadership is trust, and trust is sacred. Trust is hard to earn. It is easily lost and so very hard to regain. If trust is breached, it is devastating. People place their trust in their leader. It is a great motivator, but it is not the only motivator. God trusted you long before anyone trusted you. Trust in Him first and foremost. Strive not to let God down. This motivation steers you away from the blame game and pulls you toward taking control of your life. You wake up and realize that you have to lead yourself. You take control of your life, and you move forward.

Self-help books do no good. People don’t change just from reading a self-help book. Truth is what sets you free. It’s the truths that you apply that set you free. With God’s help and grace and with the support of those God brings around you, you lead. You stop being lead by the wrong people, and you connect yourself to people who are going where you want to go. You move forward in the decisions you make. Decisions mean nothing if you don’t move in them. Make every effort to apply the promises and the benefits to your life; apply the principles!

Self-leadership is about perseverance and self-determination, and, ultimately, it is about the faith and courage and discipline to act. There must be action. Don’t sit there and be unhappy with what you have. That get’s you no where. Move forward. Change your life. And, with God’s help, real change will come into your world.

Discipline is key to self-leadership. In being honest with yourself, you have to do things that hurt. Change is painful. It takes discipline to push through and complete the change. Trials hurt, but they break your flesh and grow your spirit. Do not avoid the pain. The pain is good. God is changing you; it will be painful. Rely on God and endure. People tend to want to run from the pain. When things are falling apart, people run from Him in order not to feel the pain of change. They want to pretend that life is all good. They do not change. Staying in the House is where you break down and are in pain, but it is also where God builds you back up and helps you to change and lead and grow. Stop being proud. Fall apart fast so God can rebuild you. When you’re there, take a good look at yourself and determine to change.

Leadership is knowing what you believe and living in your principles when times are good and when times are bad. Determine. Make decisions. And act upon them. You will go through this cycle time and again. And each time, you will grow some more and you will change again. But, if you don’t want it, you’ll never get it. So, what do you want? No more victim. No more blame. What do you want?